Trigger Warning: Anxiety, Panic
I feel like I’m not good enough.
Recently, after a group session with a few other coaches on some business related writing, I realized that I’d been triggered. It was a new realization, but was definitely tied to old emotions.
They had given me some wonderful ideas to think about, and did not criticize what I had written, but it was enough to send me back to my ‘I’m not good enough’ thoughts and emotions.
But I’m aware.
I credit the time I’ve spent on my own self-awareness as the reason I was aware of these feelings and the sensations of those feelings within my body.
If you’ve read my article, Let your Free Spirit Flag Fly, you know that I’m in touch with my free-spirit.
It is the archetype that I most identify with at this point in my life and a part of me that has been hiding within me for a very long time.
I’ve just recently found her and am quite attached to using her voice. But this was not my free spirit coming forth.
This was the old me stuck in a box.
I did some journaling on how I felt and tried not to think about it, but the next day, I was still stuck.
Luckily, I had a coaching session that evening. I told my coach about being triggered and we agreed that I should go back into the box to be able to work through the emotions and that these emotions were also the key to my business writings.
I should mention that I was very comfortable doing this – I knew I was in a safe space with my coach and I was just allowing myself to re-experience the sensations and feelings.
Mentally, I put myself back in the box.
I’m in the box. It’s small. I’m stuck in here with my thoughts swirling around. It’s a tiny spot filled with too much energy.
My negative thoughts are overpowering.
I can feel the stress in my shoulders, it’s heavy. I feel a hollow, empty space in my heart and I feel like crying.
The box is dark and scary.
It’s suffocating me. I’m closed in – it feels like there is no way out.
Being stuck in the box hurts my brain. It’s stifling. I’m stressed out and exhausted from overthinking.
I cannot hear any other sounds but my voice, my inner self-critic.
“You’re not good enough to write. You’re not a writer. Nobody will read this anyway. Nobody cares what you have to say.”
I long to open the box.
I have to step out and be free. I need to open the box and get out quickly – before it swallows me up, before my self-critic takes over.
There is only one thing to do.
Stop. Breathe. Rest.
[Ok, maybe three things. But the point is that stopping where you are and taking the time to breathe deeply while you rest your mind and body will allow the energy in the box to dissipate.]
The more time I spend breathing and resting, the bigger the box starts to feel.
My strong negative energy fades away, clearing the air within the box. It’s not so stifling anymore.
I have room to move around. I am thinking clearer now.
I look around the inside of the box.
I see lots of feelings and thoughts, some are good, some are bad. Mostly they are just taking up space.
I start to organize the box. Tidy it up, pick up the thoughts, touch them, feel them, study them. In my hands, they aren’t so scary.
I treat my limiting beliefs with compassion.
I pick one up – this belief, called self-doubt, developed when I was a teen – it needs love. I give it a hug. Then I pack it up and give it a spot to stay in.
My self-critic is over here. I spend time having a conversation with her.
She was protecting me from being criticized by others. So really – she loves me. So I give her some love back. Tell her it’s ok.
I feel better – she can step back from her duties – take a break.
I’m not trying to throw the beliefs out – just make peace with them, learn to understand them.
How did this limiting belief develop and how has it served me? What lesson can I take from it?
Eventually, I can move around in this box. The energy is lighter. It feels bigger – I can move around.
I open the lid.
The light peeks in while I peek out. Opening the box is like breaking free from the past.
Stretching my limbs and taking a breath of fresh air.
Positive energy now fills me.
My mind is peaceful. My body is happy.
Stepping out of the box feels like a metamorphosis. It’s a new environment, saturated with clarity and positive thoughts. It’s bright, warm and safe.
Once I’m outside of the box, my free-spirit and confidence greet me.
They remind me that they’ve always been here – out in the open, free from the enclosed space. Beckoning to me.
I’m free from the box now.
There may be events or moments in my life that trigger the feeling of being back in the box, but I am able to experience the box in a different way.
It’s not as scary anymore.
The box doesn’t have control over me. I control whether I want to be in or out of the box.
In the safe space with my coach, going back in to experience those old limiting beliefs was beneficial. I gained clarity on how it felt to be back in there and it allowed me to write this blog.
It allows me to help other women that are stuck within their own limiting belief boxes.
Your family values you. It’s time you value yourself.
Schedule a FREE 30 minute Energize Session to spark the change within you.
Are you ready?