I don’t fit the free-spirit profile.
I’m an introvert, a people-pleaser. I love my alone time.
These are just a few pieces of me that I’ve accepted. They will always be a part of me. Every piece of one’s personality has its place within their soul.
I continue to be coached on fully accepting these parts of me – being aware of them when they show up in my daily life, feeling the sensations in my body and laughing at them when I can.
It’s a process.
Journaling on my laptop recently, thoughts on this acceptance process and growth came flowing out of me. I was thinking back on what I’ve felt as I’ve lived through the acceptance process – my self-wellness journey. I’ve decided to share it as I think many of you will relate.
March 4th
I’ve been living for others for years, pleasing others so that I’ll be liked, so that I’ll fit in as one of the group, so that I’ll feel better. Perfecting everything I do so that I won’t be criticized on the outside and I won’t have to hear from my own self critic on the inside. I worry about what other people think, I worry about the future.
I frequently feel that I’m not good enough.
I shame myself when I can’t meet the extremely high standards I set. I get frustrated when things don’t come together and I blame myself. I’m exhausted from trying to live up to my own standards. I’m picky, overly focused on
I suffer from anxiety.
I give and care for others and rarely take time for myself. If I do take a moment, I feel guilty for it. I sacrifice my own self-wellness for the wellness of others.
And I am tired, overwhelmed and burned out.
Because all of this takes so much energy. After years and years of continuously going and doing for others, I can’t sleep, I can’t relax and I’m incapable of having compassion for my body and my mind. I’ve never practiced gratitude for what my body has done to keep me going and what my mind has endured to keep me doing.
I’ve reached the point where I can’t go another step without taking time for myself.
It’s time to stop and rest.
Stop.
Rest.
A deep rest.
I fully rest my body. I fully rest my mind.
Breathe. Deeply. (link to Loving Yourself)
I pause and let my heart guide me.
I’m searching for my spirit.
I know she’s deep inside me waiting to be found. She has shown herself many times in my life, but now it’s her turn. She’s smiling because she knows I am getting closer to releasing her. She is beautiful. She is laughing. She is happy that I found her.
I’m getting to know her body, her mind. She is ready to come forth and become one with me.
I am stronger now.
The negative voices in me are stepping back because they don’t need to protect me right now. The positive forces in me are stepping forward because I need them. Because people in the world need my positive energy.
I am ready to fly.
I am ready to soar through the sky, empowered to live without shame and blame. Emboldened to enjoy each moment that comes to me.
My spirit is renewed and refreshed, and ready to live authentically because I have discovered the voice that was deep inside myself, roaring to come out.
I speak with confidence. I speak my truth.
I’m bursting with energy now.
I’m ready to move forward as me, for me; inspired, invigorated, empowered. Ready to take on my life with passion, strength and purpose.
I am free. A free-spirit.
I am me.
Your family values you. It’s time you value yourself.
Schedule a FREE 30 minute Energize Session to spark the change within you.
Are you ready?
